Just like trying to diet, you slip up and over-indulge. That doesn't mean you've failed, it just means you put it behind you and continue to move forward. Every moment is a new beginning. Well, it's the same with this blogging diary. Seems I've missed quite a few days in posting, but I haven't failed and I'm moving forward.
So, Sara is back at the Texaco and I am delighted. She doesn't stock the cooler, but the positive energy she brings makes up for that. At least for now anyway. I've gotten to visit with Laura a couple of times, briefly and I really enjoy that.
I got so mad the other night; no one came to pick me up, no one answered the phone and it was freezing cold. If it hadn't been so cold I would have sat right down on the side of the road and wept in self pity. I finally get home and no one is there. The door is locked and I have no key. I checked twice, actually. I tried Zach's number once more and he answered. Said they'd been stuck in the mud. I didn't want to hear his excuses, I wanted an apology, a sincere one, but none was forthcoming. Here I am now with both dogs barking up a storm while I endeavor to crawl through my bedroom window without breaking anything, including myself. Dogs dancing a jig to get outside and relieve themselves and poor King has a prolonged episode of diarhea.
I finally get myself and the crap I toted home inside and up pulls the ungrateful ones. Still no apology just laughter and attempts of telling the story. I wanted no part of it. I went to my room and slammed the door. Zach hollers at me to asks if I want something to eat. I haven't eaten anything all day and I'm starving s I swallow my righteous indignation and venture out. When I go into the kitchen, I see no food and ask what there is. He makes some smart assed reply about my attitude and tells me I can fix my own food. I return to my sanctuary and, again, slam the door. Went to bed hungry. Whose fault was that? Righteous indignation makes for a poor diet.
What is it about me that, regardless of past and proven behaviour, I continue to believe a leopard can and will change its spots simply by virtue of my love and forgiveness? I think, perhaps, since I live my life constantly in an effort to improve, that I assume others are doing so, too. The concept of merely wallowing in an apathetic, stagnant mind set is so totally foreign to me. I understand that change can be frightful, but there can be no growth without change. Who doesn't want to grow? Well, my son and his wife for two. Just can't wrap my mind around that.
Worked in my garden yesterday. The weather finally cooperated and it was lovely. Cleaned out all the old dead stuff and readiness for Persephones return. Oh, Goddess, how wonderful to get my hands in the dirt. The winter has been off and on in brief moments this year. I was amazed to find so many annuals still in growth. Winter is not yet over so, I may yet lose them, but what a delightful surprise. My garden faeries work so very diligently for me.
Going to spend some time with my dearest friend today. It's the highlight of my week. With her crazy work hours we haven't been able to just sit, relax and converse intelectually like we used to, but I enjoy her company so, I'll take whatever time she has for me.
I miss getting together with friends and discussing, debating ideas, concepts, beliefs. I hunger for cerebral conversation.
Today, I am grateful for dirt. I come into my element when my hands are in the soil. I become co-creator with the Universe. My spirit is tranquil and everything is right in my world at that moment. So, I honor our great Mother Earth today. I wish her health and abundance; the gifts she returns to me each day.
Blessed be...
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